Horrible Mother Doesn't Bathe Her Son For a Month, Gets Angry When Her Grandmother Criticizes Her Parenting

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 10, 2023 3:00 PM EST

 When I was a kid, I had to take a bath or a shower every day, a tradition I've continued throughout my life. When you're a kid, you get dirty quickly and must be washed often. As I scroll through parenting TikTok, I get increasingly disgusted with the hot takes about hygiene. The number of moms I've seen online talking about only showering their kids once or twice a month baffles me. Anyone who thinks having their kid run around all stinky is healthy for them is a fool.

Some parents don't bathe their kids enough because it's part of some crunchy new-age regiment they've been sucked into. Others don't do it because they literally do not have the capability to properly care for their child. Both of these are clearly examples of neglect. One mom in the latter situation went to Reddit to see if the criticisms she was getting from her mother and grandmother were valid. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for not giving my son a bath I (24 f) have a 3 year old toddler. He and I live with my mother (44) and my grandmother (77). I work five days out of the week, noon to 8, but I leave at 11 am, and usually get home between 8:15 to 8:30 depending on traffic, however starting tomorrow I won't be home until closer to 9:30 on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. My mother and grandmother don't work and just stay at home all day with my son and also take care of my 15 year old brother and sister.
    via u/rosebloodmoons
  • 02
    Font - something. My mom and grandma keep berating me for the fact that it's been a month since his hair has been washed, but I'm rarely home, and when I do get home, he's already dressed for bed, and my two days off I'm so bust I barely even take care of myself. Now I don't expect my grandma to do much with him other than sit with him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself, but I'm frustrated that my mom doesn't do much. When she's not taking her kids to school and picking them, she sits at home
    via u/rosebloodmoons
  • 03
    Font - Even my boyfriend (23) will say thing like "oh, you have a kid?" Everytime I mention something about my son even though he knows I do. I know he's just being sarcastic, but it hurts me every time. Being here with them is driving me crazy and it's a struggle trying to repair my mental well being when they're chiseling away at my hard work, but the moment I mention wanting to leave, they start crying, wailing almost, telling me not to take their baby, they have nothing to live for without h
    via u/rosebloodmoons
  • 04
    Font - Sometimes I feel like throwing their own words back at them, but it won't solve anything. This was more of a rant than anything, but I wanted to just get it off my chest and ask if I'm as big of AH as my family says I am.
    via u/rosebloodmoons
  • 05
    Font - indil47. 21h Partassipant [1] YTA. If you have time to have a boyfriend, you have time to bathe your own kid. Your priorities are way off. ... Reply 9.5k 9.5k
    via u/indil47
  • 06
    Rectangle - dontworryitsme4real • 17h Right. Baths don't have to be in the evening. They can be in the mornings. 43.2k
    via u/dontworryitsme4real
  • 07
    Rectangle - Legit_baller. 16h 1 Award Or they can be, you know, anytime they were writing this post lol 43.3k
    via u/Legit_baller
  • 08
    Rectangle - ATTR LOVE kreeves9 14h ● INFO. How often do we think OP showers? I mean if bathing a toddler once a week is acceptable... 623
    via u/kreeves9
  • 09
    Font - ShetekBabe507. 16h Seriously. We're all busy. We're all tired. The pandemic was hard for everyone. But we all have the same 24 hours. He is YOUR child. Not your mother's or grandmother's or even boyfriend's child. He is solely your responsibility and you are failing him in so many ways. Where is his father? ... 4876
    via u/ShetekBabe507
  • 10
    Font - EDIT I'm sorry, I should have worded things better. He does usually get a bath at least once a week or after an extremely dirty day, but he hasn't had his hair washed in a while, which I know is still bad. My son hates get his hair wet in the bath, but is fine with pool time. Everytime we try to wash his hair, he'll scream bloody murder, and then my grandma will start screaming at us assuming we're "hurting her baby" and no matter how many times we try telling her that we're just washing
    via u/rosebloodmoons
  • 11
    Font - assumed that they had been giving him baths and washing his hair, but my mom mentioned it to me recently, within the last few days (honestly every day has been running into each lately so I can't remember when a day stops and the next begins, but I know it's been within this past week) that he hasn't had his hair washed in over a month and I just stared at her dumbfounded as to why she didn't wash it sooner instead of complain to me about it after it's been so long. I do realize it's my r
    via u/rosebloodmoons
  • 12
    Font - EDIT 2 For those confused how i have time for a boyfriend but not my son, I don't. He lives with me, we started dating when I was still in college, when I actually had time to be social and take care of my son. As of August we've been more roommates than anything, going out for dinner here and there after I get out of work, a,d the most interaction he's had with my son as far as know was playing ball with him once on Thanksgiving, and telling him he was going to be gone for a while becaus
    via u/rosebloodmoons
  • 13
    Font - WelpOopsOhno. 14h It sounds like she's cleaning up after 4 adults - Mom, grandma, boyfriend and self - plus taking care of 1 child after work, though. Honestly if there are four adults and only one can be responsible, and be overwhelmed by it all, maybe she needs to take some PTO or unemployment/food stamps for a while and get herself somewhere to live away from the three leeches. Then she can take care of her child better. Also, dump the boyfriend, he sounds like he's not interested in t
    via u/WelpOopsOhno
  • 14
    Font - Whey FacedLoon 11h ● 1 Award I am sorry but absolutely none of this is ok. This is not a safe or healthy environment for your child. If child services found out about any of this there would be serious concerns.
    via u/WheyFacedLoon
  • 15
    Font - You are saying that your mother and grandmother care for him basically 100% because you allow them to put him in his pyjamas by 7pm and you basically can't spend any time with him after he is in pjs because grandmother doesn't let you, then grandma allows him to stay awake with her for hours and not go to sleep until 2am, then he rarely wakes up before you leave because he is allowed to sleep until lunchtime or later. You rarely spend time with him because you are cleaning and get screame
    via u/WheyFacedLoon
  • 16
    Font - So you are being prevented from having a relationship with your child and your child is not getting the care he needs. Serious questions- why are you still there? You know that this is damaging to your son and your relationship with him. Your grandmother says so will stop helping, but you know that she is not actually doing anything that actually helps and is actively stopping you from caring for your child.
    via u/WheyFacedLoon
  • 17
    Font - Take your child and leave. If you have to leave your animals and give up your chicken side hustle to do it, then so be it. This is your child and this is incredibly damaging to him. If you continue to stay there it will continue to damage you child's health and well-being, your mental health and your relationship with your child. YTA for allowing this manipulation and abuse to continue. 4365
    via u/WheyFacedLoon
  • 18
    Font - Zestyclose_Media_548 10h This a great comment and great advice. It sounds like there's a lot of family dysfunction going on and nobody has an idea of appropriate boundaries. It sounds like they are punishing her for having a child without being married and actively sabotaging her as well. She is in the wrong but needs to read every word of this reply and get out of that house with her baby and get some counseling. ... 477 ↓
    via u/Zestyclose_Media_548
  • 19
    Font - Old-Specific3276 • 14h 100% YTA you don't leave until 11 you have plenty of time in the morning to give him a bath. Your family is right, he's your kid and it's your responsibility. ... 231 231
    via u/Old-Specific3276
  • 20
    Font - MrsCamp2020 • 10h This is what I don't understand!! I'm sorry but priorities are mixed up for sure. OP YTA. You get home at 9/10? Go to bed when you get home. Your son is probably up by 7AM that is PLENTY of time for you to bathe him before you go into work. No I don't wash my sons hair every day, but definitely more than once a month. If he cries in the bath, put him in the shower. From there sounds of it you don't even spend time with him?! —— 46
    via u/MrsCamp2020
  • 21
    Font - MrJeanPoutine. 21h Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] Why the hell can't you give him a bath before you leave for work?! And you've let this go on for a month?! YTA. ... Reply 5.5k 5.5k
    via u/MrJeanPoutine
  • 22
    Rectangle - Stella430 18h ● Somehow I feel this house is "less than pristine" too ... 1.6k
    via u/Stella430
  • 23
    Font - Mindless-Pepper-5556 ● 17h Her mom and grandmother live there, too, and two teenagers. from What she said, no one else seems to clean. ... 1.1k
    via u/Mindless-Pepper-5556
  • 24
    Rectangle - Charlottewhit. 16h And apparently her boyfriend also lives there but has no interactions with her son. I'm so confused. 41.6k 1.6k
    via u/Charlottewhit
  • 25
    Font - ant-master . 15h She said he does, if he honestly forgets she has a kid that's...not great. I'm trying to be civil so I will just leave it at that. YTA OP 4375 375
    via u/ant-master
  • 26
    Font - MaybeAWalrus • 21h Supreme Court Just-ass [146] It's hard to says that because you are clearly struggling but... kind YTA. It's your kid, and your mother and grand mother are already doing TONS to support you... They are basically raising your kid while you work.... and you are mad when they ask you to do the bare minimum and care for your son's hygiene ? That sounds like you are exhausted, sure, but don't let your mind trick you into thinking that it's unfair that your mom is not doing m
    via u/MaybeAWalrus
  • 27
    Font - You are in a very hard situation and I hope things get better for you... Edit: you are lucky your son is not in daycare right now. His lack of hygiene would have been noted a while ago and CPS would probably have paid you a visit... ... Reply 4.2k
    via u/MaybeAWalrus
  • 28
    Font - Schrecmd. 19h CPS should be a big concern. If she can't find time to bathe him, how is his medical care handled? Dental care? For gods sakes any personal interaction with mom ? Princess is so busy you know. They would swipe that kid up and put him in the system in a hurry. Very sad situation. ... 1.4k
    via u/Schrecmd
  • 29
    Font - lark_song She adds in her edit she doesn't even know the interactions her boyfriend has had with her son. This entire situation sounds dangerous to the boy 15h ● .... 4706
    via u/lark_song
  • 30
    Font - ZekDrago 15h ● Honestly. If "resting on your days off" takes priority over "giving my toddler a bath" you shouldn't be allowed to have children. You don't know how to be a parent, and you're entitled af for thinking that your parents (who already raised you, and look how that turned out?!?) should raise your child.... ... 370
    via u/ZekDrago

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family drama baths kids parenting hygiene family hygeine Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS bathing aita askreddit moms neglect reddit thread Reddit mom
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